bits of glitter: rail trail

I started writing again because I wanted to share my life and experiences with my friends and anyone else that wanted to read. I thought that starting with a new blog versus continuing under the old one would give me a clean start. I could tell you about me. About the things I do and how I see them. I wouldn't do as many blogs about Giada, I would focus on me. Tonight, I realized that I can't make a separation between me and being a mother. This is who I am now and although I can't wait to share the happenings of my life that occur without a 3 year old attached to me, tonight is all about her.

It's Monday and she knows I go to Zumba. I get her dinner ready and maybe slip her into pj's before I leave her in the very capable hands of Kristopher. Then I am off to an hour of exercise and no thoughts of anyone but me (and trying to not trip over my own feet). Tonight, I talked her out of the tears on the way home. She said she didn't want me to go. She wanted me. I explained why I need to go and that it's so cool that she gets to hang with Daddy all by herself. This pacified her until we got home. Then the tears started again. She even gave up dinner in favor of bed, she was so distraught over my leaving. These aren't temper tantrum tears, they are the tears that well up inside and prevent her from speaking. She gasps for breath and you can't understand what she's saying because it's just sound, no real words, that come out. All she wants is a hug.

So, a hug it was. A big one where you just try to squeeze your love into the other person. When we were done, she started getting ready for bed and once again, on the the verge of those salty streams, she looked at me, chin trembling, and said, "I'm gonna miss you in my heart". This is what we say when we talk about our feelings. When she says she misses us during the day, I tell her that she can miss us but we're always in her heart and she is always in ours.

Sigh.....

Rewind to Friday where we were blessed with amazing weather. I had full-on Spring Fever and the only cure was spending as much time outside as humanly possible. I picked Giada up early from school and called my girlfriend to see if she and her little ones would like to meet us at the park. I always hear how moms just meet up for a bit and I always say, "call me whenever you want to..." This was reality....it actually worked out and I was amazed. Springtime, here we come! The girls played and my friend and I chatted. I was a perfect way to break up the afternoon and hopefully she is reading this so she knows how much I enjoyed our last minute play date/ mommies get a little break to be adults time.

My friend had an appointment and Kris texted to say he was close to home so we wrapped up the play date and my thoughts immediately shifted to packing a small bag of snacks and loading up the fam for more outside time. We planned to go hiking but the trails we wanted to hit were closing early so we checked out a path that we're always saying we should try. It's a paved path over an old railroad bed that is closed to cars but open to walkers, runners, families and dogs. You do not need to worry about traffic lights or cars coming and you can just let go. No panic attacks necessary when your little angel lets go of your hand and runs 20 yards ahead of you. She still isn't completely independent and she will wait for you to catch up. If you take too long, she'll run back to get you.

We had a million things we could have been doing but nothing beats starting the weekend off a bit early, especially when the sun stayed around a little longer thanks to daylight savings. All winter, I have been obsessing over the beautiful shows the sky puts on in the morning and at night. Finally, I got to squint my eyes when I looked toward the sun and feel the warmth of the sun on my face without shivering.

It was like most days that we have as a family. A little silliness, a few tears from an injury caused by klutziness and lots of hugs and hand holding.