Breathe

Feeling blessed beyond what I could have ever imagined. For a gal that has spent her life keeping things inside, this last year especially,  has been a revelation.

I've never been perfect or ever expected people to view me that way but I guess I did a good job of putting up that front.  I was encouraged by someone that knew the real me.... in every facet.  The joy, the worry, the fear, the strength and the doubt.  I started being more "me" than I ever had been.  I opened up to the ones I trusted and started forming even stronger relationships with everyone.  The friends I'd had for 20 years as well as the new friends I started gaining once I stopped worrying so much.

I can't begin to express how deeply I feel every bit of life these days.  For me as well as my friends, acquaintances and strangers.  My empathy is at an all time high and while I'm still the same old me, my patience and acceptance has grown.  I've said before that I started on this path when I became a mom but It continues to grow and encompass me.

No matter what we say, we all DO care what others think.  What we do with that knowledge is what sets us apart.

Maybe it's the Holiday Season that allows people to express themselves but for me, it doesn't matter.  The love I have received in the last 24 hours is a reminder of all of the other bits I have received throughout my life.  Every single experience has brought me to this point.  To who I am today.
From the girl that held my hand and said Merry Christmas - with her words and her eyes - when I shared some unused coupons last week to the friends that take time to call, text or show me that I matter to them-good and bad; I don't have the proper words to say thank you or to explain the feeling in my heart that you all bring.

We all have shit.  It breaks us, it humbles us but it brings us together.  It makes us approachable and human.  Don't broadcast it on social media but don't shy away from it.  Own it and share it as you see fit.  Allow others to see you aren't that glossy, magazine-perfect person, don't judge others, and I guarantee there will be a shift.  You will change and it will be good.

Spartan Citi Field Weekend

'Hey, you should run a Spartan Race, you will love it'......  How about two in one weekend?

 

I signed up for my first Spartan over the winter and them proceeded to count the days until I finally got close enough to taste it.  It was at that point that I started to get nervous.  Yes, I knew I would make it through but I was still a wreck.   I've run 5Ks but this included challenges and penalties.  I also had no idea who my competition would be. 

 

I was signed up for the 9:30 heat and spent an hour or so after getting settled watching the time. I saw others around me getting ready, watched the screen display real-time video of fellow runners attempting the obstacles and heard the clinking of medals as finishers walked by.   I was getting anxious.

 

I moved toward the starting line.  At this race, it was the ramp you would take along the outside of the ballpark to get to the other levels. We stood in line as they released a group each minute.  As I stood there watching the clock count down I was just pumped to get going.   From 'Aroo!!" for the next hour or so, I navigated my way through each obstacle.  Some with ease and some, I failed and got to do the standard 30 burpees. As I crossed the finish line, I just wanted to find out my time and figure out how I would race again.  I was relieved, relaxed and exhilarated all in one.

 

Saturday ..... Race 1

I was scheduled to volunteer on Sunday but decided to get there early to run again.  Crazy to some but to me, a necessity.  I already knew what to expect and I was going to do better, I just knew it.  Off and running, I already noticed a difference.  There were less people on Sunday and especially early in the day so I didn't have to fight my way through.  I was more relaxed and found myself enjoying the experience in a different way.  I crossed the finish line almost 8 minutes faster than I did on Saturday!

Sunday ..... Race 2



After running, I checked in for my volunteer shift. I got to man the rope climb and having run already, I knew that everyone needed encouragement as they approached.  They had already completed most of the race and now they visibly had the last three obstacles ahead of them. It was volunteering there that made my Spartan weekend complete.  I met awesome athletes, heard stories, witnessed injuries, tears and victories.  My heart was full.

 

There are so many other stories and lessons learned from this weekend but I don't know where to start.  I wanted to get these pics up and check in with everyone.  The next race is already scheduled and just around the corner.

CrossFit Open 2014

I'd only been taking CrossFit Classes for six weeks when I registered for the CrossFit Open.  Other than it being a worldwide competition that would show me where I stand against 200,000 others. I had no idea what to expect.  My start in CrossFit was to just jump in with both feet.   I have learned as I had to in order to complete a WOD ( workout of the day) and tried to spend some extra time working on  the lifting aspect.

My experience may be different than many.  I didn't plan this as a way to lose weight or get stronger.  I started because I was bored with my routine at the regular gym.  I was lonely and finding that I wasn't challenged any longer.  It was also winter and I couldn't even take a run outside to break up the monotony.  I'd already been told by others that I would love it, it was right up my alley, that I was the perfect candidate, etc.  Well, being told that is one thing, making the leap, quite another.

I contacted the box (aka- the CrossFit Gym) and was invited to try a free class.  I went slowly and did a few of the moves.  A couple days later, I completed my first WOD....all Kettlebells.... and kept up with the class.  One more day of working on a few basics and it was decided that I would just do the WODs as written.  Feeling ok about my place among my peers, I signed up for the Open.  THAT is where I really found out where I stood.

For the Open, we were given a workout each Thursday night and had until the following Monday to complete it while being judged. Here's how it went:

 

WEEK 1

Nothing like flying by the seat of your pants.  Do you even know what a Double-Under is? It's jumping rope but for each jump, the rope goes around twice. I couldn't do one, much less 30!  So, I practiced Fri., Sat. and Sun.  I was finally able to get some a few minutes before the judging.  I made it through three rounds plus 6 more DUs to get a score of 141.  Not a bad start for someone only 6 weeks in, huh?  I have to say, If it wasn't for me pulling the DUs out of my @ss, I would have likely been pretty down about this adventure but this showing got me pumped. I was able to perform under pressure.  Pretty freakin' awesome.

WEEK 2

This week was a doozie.  Overhead squats are tough for me and I was just learning the movements when this was announced.  Then they throw in C2B Pull-ups? Ha.  I attempted this twice but in the end scored 17.  That means I didn't make it past the first round but this was the point in the competition that I decided that the Open was my chance to find out what I didn't know.  I planned to keep showing up and noting my weaknesses so I could work to improve.  This was NOT going to mess with my head, it was going to drive me.

 

 WEEK 3

Ohhh!  I was so excited for this one!  Something I knew I could do.  And if I had some experience under my belt, I would have killed it but my lack of form, due to my excitement, as well as coming off  a week of not feeling 100% worked against me and I only posted 90 reps (three full rounds)

WEEK 4

Rowing?  Who can't row?  Ok.... I'll at least get 60.  Toes-to-bar?  Exactly what it sounds like.  Hang from the bar and lift your toes until they touch.  Now do this 50 times.  Or not.   I got 44 and never made it to wall balls.  I wanted to get to the cleans so I was frustrated by the end of this one.

WEEK 5

I wasn't panicked.  I knew that in the end, I just had to complete this.  There was no time cap so while I had to keep moving, I wouldn't get disqualified by not being able to do something.  There were only two options; Finish or give up.....hell no on the giving up!

I originally planned to complete this Saturday morning.  Our Coach had arranged for another box to visit and we would be able to complete this with them.  Sounds great on paper but I was still a bit intimidated.  I wanted to go before they arrived but that didn't work out so I threw my hat in the ring on the first heat.  It was a grueling workout and I didn't finish as quickly as I'd wanted to but I did finish in a decent time (22:09).

I was thrilled to be done and have the remainder of the day to relax.  I got to cheer on everyone else and feel what they were feeling as they worked their way through this toughie.  It was a long, exhausting day but I don't think the smile left my face once. Being surrounded by others that cheered for me and that love this sport as much as I do was incredibly inspiring.  I wouldn't change this experience one bit.

  

CFONY and CFMH after 14.5

Final Standings

North East Standings

 

Worldwide Standings

Note: When I looked at the Leaderboard, it seems that many people in this didn't post scores for at least one week.  Each week, you earn points based on your standing.  The lower the number, the better. The final standings show as a cumulative number of points so if you didn't post a score, of course you would have less points and will place higher.  So.... I probably placed higher than this but it's not a make or break at this point.   I will keep working and have high hopes for the next one.

New outlook, new friends and teammates.... I see this as success all around. 

Congrats to anyone that attempted this at any level in their CrossFit Experience.

"Rest" Day

 

 

 

 

The past few weeks have been a little more hectic than usual.  Competing in the CrossFit Open has kept me pretty busy.  I have been focusing on preparing for the week's WOD (assigned workout) and then being judged on the workout in order to submit my score.  I will write a post once it's done to fill you in on the experience but today, I finally took a few minutes to relax.  I did some errands but I also tried out a recipe from my newest cookbook, Against All Grain by Danielle Walker.

The recipes are great for those following the paleo diet but also for those of us that are just trying to eat cleaner.....even when it comes to dessert.

You can check out Danielle's story and some of her recipes here and I've posted some pictures for you of her Paleo 7 Layer Bars.  As delicious as the original and pretty to boot.

For the recipe, go here: AAG-7 layer bars

 

 

 

Drive

It happens when you are exhausted, have a list of to-dos a mile long and you still push to take advantage of every minute of every day.  When you put so much effort into experiencing as much as you can and make time for others as much as you make time for yourself. It's right then that you feel the truth of the saying, "Life is Short".

 

Sometimes it applies because you feel like there isn't enough time in the day.  Sometimes it's an excuse to do something you want to do in lieu of something you should do.  Other days, days like today, it's because in the midst of the busy that is you life, you are forced to stop and look that saying square in the eye and feel it's true meaning.  Things can change in an instant.  What/If/When you aren't here tomorrow?  Will you have accomplished something in your life?  Do people know what they meant to you?  Was there something you should have done but kept putting it off?

I'm coming off the high of achieving something I didn't think was possible and have been distracted by thoughts swirling in my head. Remember a few posts ago when I said I was trying out CrossFit? Well, that deserves it's own post to update y'all but bottom line?  I'm hooked. Only six weeks in and I'm already seeing a difference in my strength, mindset and body.  It's got me thinking about how I have arrived at this. Why didn't I do it earlier?  Maybe I wasn't ready but after kicking some butt this past week and feeling the love from some fellow CrossFitters I was reminded how good it feels to be a part of a team. 

For those that don't know this, I played soccer for most of my school years.  At the time, they didn't separate the girls and boys so as we got older and less girls played outside of the school team, I was lucky to adopt a team of brothers.  They picked on me  and told my dad everything I did when he wasn't around, just as a brother would, but they also rooted for me and knew I was capable of keeping up with them.  That team made me show up season after season to prove I belonged and it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me as a young girl.Those same guys showed up at my Varsity games to cheer for me and 20+ years later, I can still reach out to them if I need them. Even today, I relate more easily to guys and even my career has been in a male-dominated industry.  Pretty interesting.

All of this background is to share that everyone in my life has been integral to my development.  Each person has helped form the person I am.  I love that I have grown enough in the past few years that I am making time for these people, even when, on paper, I don't have time.  A friend from elementary school will be close by next week and I will make every effort to meet up.  A good friend gave birth to her second child today. Another friend wakes up daily to fight for her life.  I want to be there for all of them...... and it's not solely for me.   I want it for them.  So they know that they are important.  That they are worth making time for.

We are all blessed in different ways.  Embrace your blessings.  Revel in them.  Surely someone else is envious of you. It's ok... you're probably envious of them too.  But your heart... THAT, you have control of.  Let it drive you, but let it stop you in your tracks sometimes too.

 Live your life.  Make it full of goodness.

Heart Day- Part 2.....with a dash of snow

 

 

Her daddy won't be here for Valentine's Day but she wanted to make a gift he could bring with him.  Handmade card and cookies.  What Valentine's should be about; sharing from the heart. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The best part about the heart shape is that you get to eat the scraps

 

 



 

 

 

I wanted her day to be special too so I made a card for her, hung some garland and got her a small gift.  All week, I've been tucking Valentine-themed riddles in her lunch box.

 

 

 

 

Simple acts of love are noticed by her.  She gets a look of understanding that leads you to believe she has a lifetime of experience packed inside that tiny body.  I hope she always sees things this way.  That she never stops appreciating the smallest bits of goodness.

 

This morning we had coffee, made more cookies for my brother-in-law as a small thank you for plowing us out and went outside to look at the snow that Mother Nature gifted us this Valentine's Day.  I hope yours is a very special heart day too.

 

 

 

 

Finally a reason to wear my fuzzy hat

 

 

 

 

Snow swimming?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy (early) Heart Day

Remember how exciting Valentine's Day was when you were little?  You would have the pick the perfect cards that showed everyone what you were made of.  Cartoon characters, jokes, standard Valentine theme.  They would be small and only had a space for "To:" and "From:".  They came with tiny envelopes and you spent countless hours addressing them by following the class list; choosing the right card for each classmate and picking the very best for the people that were just a bit more special than the others, secretly hoping they would notice the extra effort.

When does it change?  When do you start despising the holiday and saying things like " It's a Hallmark Holiday" and "If you love someone, show them daily"?  Is it that you have had a really cruddy Valentine's Day or do you just get older, wiser and realize those statements have some truth to them?  That Hallmark is the original bully.  Making people feel worthless if they aren't shown affection on an otherwise regular day.  Next to all of those flowers and boxes of chocolates, there should be tissues and a bottle of booze so you can forget the blasted day.

So what do you do as a mom?  You let your child enjoy the magic.  You celebrate it in hopes that your kid will be one of the people that enjoys it.  You make sure that you aren't the cause of their distaste for Hallmark and the pressures it puts on our society.  You spend hours helping assemble cards and checking the class list to ensure that no child is forgotten.  You suggest that each child gets a small sheet of puffy stickers to adorn their notebooks and t-shirts and you let your heart fill as your sweetie fills each card with warm sentiments and signs it with love. 

Who knows, maybe .some of the magic will rub off on you.